Solving problems by killing people: A Divine idea?


Weren’t we just talking about abortion—and judgment and condemnation—last week? How ironic is it that today a judgmental, condemning human pranced himself into a church and executed a physician who performed abortions. Where’d this guy get the idea to solve problems by killing people? And why did he choose the church to stage this drama?

What’s the appropriate way to respond to behavior that’s disagreeable to us? Anybody know what the Bible says we should do in these instances?

1. Kids giving you mouth?

a. Give them good counsel
b. Forgive them
c. Kill them

Hint: Ex. 21:17, Deut. 21:18-21

2. Cold-blooded. Murderers on the loose?

a. Arrest them
b. Forgive them
c. Kill them

Hint: Ex. 21:12, 21:15

3. Cheating spouse?

a. Divorce them
b. Forgive them
c. Kill them

Hint: Lev. 19:20, 20:10

4. Kidnappers, body snatchers?

a. Make them sleep with wolves
b. Forgive them
c. Kill them

Hint: Ex 21:16

5. Bad-mouth blasphemers?

a. Publicly humiliate them
b. Forgive them
c. Stone them to death

Hint: Lev. 24:16

6. ”Me and Mrs. Jones?” Men who have sex with their father’s or son’s wife:

a. Castrate them
b. Forgive them
c. Kill them

Hint: Lev. 20:11, 20:12

7. Sexy Mama? Men who have sex with their mothers-in-law:

a. Castrate them
b. Forgive them
c. Burn them to death

Hint: Lev. 20:14

8. What to do with ungodly atheists and agnostics?

a. Cripple them
b. Forgive them
c. Kill them

Hint: Josh. 1:18, 2 Chr. 15:13

9. No “Welcome to Walmart?” Those who work on Saturdays (includes cooking, looking for food, leaving home and making a fire):

a. Arrest them
b. Forgive them
c. Stone them to death

Hint: Ex 31:15, 16:25, 16:26, 16:29, 35:3, 31:14, 35:2, Num 15:32-36

10. Lost forever: Virginity

a. Slap on a chastity belt immediately
b. Forgive her
c. Stone her to death

Hint: Deut 22:21-24

I gave you the chapter and verse for every answer, so if you answered anything but “C” for every question, I’m utterly speechless. Now you know why killing people has been such a popular way to solve problems for lo these many centuries—even after man-made law ruled these solutions inhumane and illegal.

Who’s right? Is killing people is a divine or satanic method for solving problems?

3 thoughts on “Solving problems by killing people: A Divine idea?”

  1. Anonymous

    I am still searching for the right answers. But these are things I bring up to those who preach at me when they say I should follow the Bible.

  2. Ateist

    God is biblicak Mr. Adolf Hitler!
    It is a same SHIT! Dtn. 7:1.16.22.24., or Dtn.12:29., or Dtn.19:1., it is like Hitlersstory!!!

    • loudmouthinthebalcony

      I wouldn’t have phrased it exactly that way. But I certainly concur with your assessment that the God in the Bible is often portrayed as possessing the most repulsive and inhumane characteristics. If God solves problems by killing people en masse, genocidal maniacs such as Hitler merely mimicked this behavior.

      I’m open to the possibility that the God in the Bible was created in the image of the ancient scribes who contributed to this anthology. I’m also open to the possibility that there is an invisible, invincible, immortal and benevolent spirit that I can call God, who bears no resemblance to the angry, judgmental, vindictive and genocidal god that millions choose to worship. And they call Satan the “enemy.” How can they distinguish one from the other?

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