Solving problems by killing people: Divine?

Murders shock and revile us. But they never seem to stop. Where did these people get the idea that we should solve problems by killing people?

Scripture tells us the appropriate way to respond to behavior that’s disagreeable to us. See if you know the correct answers:

1.  How should you respond if your kids are disrespectful?

a.  Give them good counsel
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Ex. 21:17, Deut. 21:18-21

2.  How should we handle murderers?

a.  Arrest them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Ex. 21:12, 21:15

3.  What should we do to cheating spouses?

a.  Divorce them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Lev. 19:20, 20:10

4.  How about kidnappers?

a.  Make them sleep with wolves
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Ex 21:16

5.  How should we deal with blasphemers?

a.  Publicly humiliate them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Stone them to death

Hint: Lev. 24:16

6.  What about men who have sex with their father’s or son’s wife:

a.  Castrate them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Lev. 20:11, 20:12

7.  Sexy Mama? What do you do Men who have sex with their mothers-in-law:

a.  Castrate them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Burn them to death

Hint: Lev. 20:14  

8.  What should we do to atheists and agnostics?

a.  Cripple them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Josh. 1:18, 2 Chr. 15:13  

9.  That senior citizen who says, “Welcome to Walmart” and others who work on Saturdays, cook, look for food, leave home and make fires?

a.  Arrest them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Stone them to death

Hint: Ex 31:15, 16:25, 16:26, 16:29, 35:3, 31:14, 35:2, Num 15:32-36

10.  Response to lost virginity?

a.  Slap on a chastity belt immediately
b.  Forgive her
c.  Stone her to death

Hint: Deut 22:21-24

Gun-shaped Holy BibleI provided the chapter and verse for every answer: In all instances, scripture claims that God demands that we kill each other. Now you know why killing people has been such a popular way to solve problems for lo these many centuries. What it means is that we can’t be law-abiding citizens and God-abiding citizens. So whose law should we follow?

If God is Love, would Love do that?

Perhaps a more intelligent and humane way to read holy scripture is to also read books about scripture that calls itself the inerrant word of God. If we did everything it claims that God mandates us to do, there would be a run on orange jumpsuits, and cities would have more prisons than high-rise apartment buildings.

As they say, it’s easier to believe than to think. I think it’s even easier to read scripture and say, “Would Love do that?” Do you?

 

Solving problems by killing people: A Divine act?

Weren’t we just talking about abortion—and judgment and condemnation—last week? How ironic is it that today a judgmental, condemning human pranced himself into a church and executed a physician who performed abortions. Where’d this guy get the idea to solve problems by killing people? And why did he choose the church to stage this drama?

What’s the appropriate way to respond to behavior that’s disagreeable to us? Anybody know what the Bible says we should do in these instances?

1.  Kids giving you mouth?

a.  Give them good counsel
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Ex. 21:17, Deut. 21:18-21

2.  Cold-blooded. Murderers on the loose?

a.  Arrest them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Ex. 21:12, 21:15

3.  Cheating spouse?

a.  Divorce them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Lev. 19:20, 20:10

4.  Kidnappers, body snatchers?

a.  Make them sleep with wolves
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Ex 21:16

5.  Bad-mouth blasphemers?

a.  Publicly humiliate them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Stone them to death

Hint: Lev. 24:16

6.  “Me and Mrs. Jones?” Men who have sex with their father’s or son’s wife:

a.  Castrate them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Lev. 20:11, 20:12

7.  Sexy Mama? Men who have sex with their mothers-in-law:

a.  Castrate them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Burn them to death

Hint: Lev. 20:14  

8.  What to do with ungodly atheists and agnostics?

a.  Cripple them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Kill them

Hint: Josh. 1:18, 2 Chr. 15:13  

9.  No “Welcome to Walmart?” Those who work on Saturdays (includes cooking, looking for food, leaving home and making a fire):

a.  Arrest them
b.  Forgive them
c.  Stone them to death

Hint: Ex 31:15, 16:25, 16:26, 16:29, 35:3, 31:14, 35:2, Num 15:32-36

10.  Lost forever: Virginity

a.  Slap on a chastity belt immediately
b.  Forgive her
c.  Stone her to death

Hint: Deut 22:21-24

I gave you the chapter and verse for every answer, so if you answered anything but “C” for every question, I’m utterly speechless. Now you know why killing people has been such a popular way to solve problems for lo these many centuries—even after man-made law ruled these solutions inhumane and illegal.

Who’s right? Is killing people is a divine or satanic method for solving problems?